I can't get my feet under me lately. Can't find my rhythm. Perhaps it's the fact that almost every Monday in the month of February was a snow day and the kids were home from school. Maybe it's the additional tasks involved in preparing for blizzards and managing the snow...damn you shoveling. Could it have been unexpectedly having to care for my son who broke both of his arms a couple weeks back trying out snowboarding? Realistically, it's all of those things combined with the regular chores of life, being a single mom and running a business. Don't get me wrong, I love the snow. The perfect winter for me is full of snow forts, blazing fires, ski weekends and hot beverages served up around the clock. This winter though, life feels like it's happening in a series of fits and starts instead of one lazy flow and it's got me scrambling to find the perfect cadence to my days.
Truth is, I am pretty sure that blizzards and broken bones are a handy little cop out for what the true source of my procrastination is. The real culprit is what author Steven Pressfield calls in his must read book " The War of Art ", Resistance. "Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the un-lived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance."
Here is a brief excerpt from his book that sheds some light on what's got me stuck:
"Have you ever brought home a treadmill and let it gather dust in the attic? Ever resolved on a diet, a course of yoga, a meditation practice? Have you ever felt a call to embark upon a spiritual practice, dedicate yourself to a humanitarian calling, commit your life to the service of others? Have you ever wanted to be a mother, a doctor, an advocate for the weak and helpless; to run for office, crusade for the planet, campaign for world peace or to preserve the environment? Late at night have you experienced a vision of the person you might become, the work you could accomplish, the realized being you were meant to be? Are you a writer who doesn't write, a painter who doesn't paint, an entrepreneur who never starts a venture? Then you know what Resistance is."
He offers us this list of common activities that most often kick up resistance:
1) The pursuit of any calling in writing, painting, music, film, dance, or any creative art, however marginal or unconventional.
2) The launching of any entrepreneurial venture or enterprise, for profit or otherwise.
3) Any diet or health regimen.
4) Any program of spiritual advancement.
5) Any activity whose aim is tighter abdominals.
6) Any course or program designed to overcome an unwholesome habit or addiction.
7) Education of every kind.
8) Any act of political, moral or ethical courage, including the decision to change for the better some unworthy pattern of thought or conduct in ourselves.
9) The undertaking of any enterprise or endeavor whose aim is to help others.
10) Any act which entails commitment of the heart. The decision to get married, to have a child, to weather a rocky patch in a relationship.
11) The taking of any principled stand in the face of potential reprisal.
"In other words, any act which disdains short-term gratification in favor of long-term growth, health or integrity. Or, expressed another way, any act that derives from our higher nature instead of our lower. Any act of these types will elicit Resistance."
Sound like you? Because it definitely sounds like me...currently...for now...but not for long.